People Skills: Complements – Suspicion hurts the suspicious

Another way we take complements poorly is to be suspicious about the intent of the giver. Mostly we don’t even realize we’ve done this – and yet it can be a detriment to our relational results.

When a friend seems to butter you up, “You are so good at organizing!” and you get suspicious that they will ask you to volunteer.

When your boss says, “Thank you for going out of your way for us.” And you’re thinking – he’s going to ask me to work late. –

Even when a spouse or child says something nice, “mom, you look really pretty.” And you’re expecting them to now ask to borrow the car.

Or a client says, “You are so easy to talk to.” And you suspect they want a discount or conditions.

This is not about the giver – it’s about you.

Even if they are going to ask for something – when you shift from suspicion to simply graciousness – “You are so wonderful to say that!” it can shift them too.

You create your day by the way you think. Make it magnificent!

Get your daily dose of graciousness here:


~ by Shawna Schuh on July 1, 2010.

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